Things I’ve Learned
The grass isn’t greener, just more expensive.
The dishes really don’t do themselves.
Never buy meat from Wal-Mart.
There isn’t much than can be cured with a good steak, a cold drink and an orgasm but at least you’ll be too full, tipsy and tired to care.
Friendship is more precious than my liver.
All those old sayings are true.
Some things really are too horrible to contemplate.
It can always get worse. Equally, this too shall pass. Here and now, you are alive.
Nothing weighs more than regret.
Whatever your drama is, I have better things to do with my time.
There is no such thing as enough books.
Wait until it comes out on DVD.
Always have money saved.
Looks are fleeting. Attitude lasts forever. We’ll all be old, wrinkled and ugly one day but what was once a looker will still be an asshole.
