I am an internet MILF

Stupid news link of the day:  In ur Treasury Dept, stealin’ ur tax dollars, lol

Today’s word count: 139 so far

Current project: Same as yesterday, finishing up.

Current song on my playlist: Cash, Nelson, Cristofferson, Jennings – The Highwayman

I was up laaaate last night, on the phone with another gal.  Liek, laaaaate.  She brought up something I found amusing.  We’d never actually met – came very close, attending the same social events, but hadn’t ever been introduced (two ships passing…).  And while she has pics online, she’s never known what I look like.

She said she had a mental image of me as a forty-something cute MILF, slightly pudgy, Caucasian brunette, sweet and placid.

I got a kick out of that.  My turn!

Chevalier is the only commenter on this blog who I don’t already know what he looks like, so I’ll just do him. I picture Chevalier as a fifty-ish white guy who looks something like Stanley Tucci, only with more hair and a mustache.  He’s mentioned that he wants to lose a little, so my mental Stanley/Chevalier has a spare tire.  You know – bookish, wire-rimmed glasses, serious expression.  And I always picture Chevalier logging on from work or a home office surrounded by wooden bookshelves.

Your turn, lurkers!  (Because I can see the site stats, I know you’re reading this.)  If you don’t already know what I look like, tell me how you picture me.

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Published in: on March 28, 2010 at 4:50 pm  Comments (6)  

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  1. Unfortunately, I have a mental deficiency in finding it very difficult if not impossible to visualize what someone or something looks like. (Despite reading the books a few times, I had absolutely no mental image of Middle Earth or Mordor or the Lord of the Rings characters, until I saw the movie.)

    If I try really hard, I could come up with something for you although the odds are it will be 100% off. OK, let’s see. Mid 30s, short dark hair, dark eyes, a little on the slender side with small breasts, maybe 5’4″. Talk rapidly, ideas flowing out rather than as organized as when you write. Night owl. A small apartment, not elaborately furnished. A little spring, bounce in your step. And I’ll visualize you with a cup of coffee (black) and a cigarette. At times one cigarette, forgotten, in the ashtray, while you light another.

    I’m sure this is way off, particularly since I’ve not really run across many of your posts on P4P boards. It’s forced, rather than derived from any clues or the like. 🙂

    P.S. Your guess as to me is not TOO bad, under the circumstances. And since you and your readers have no way to know for sure — Carrie and Veronica have met me but hopefully won’t tell you the truth — I look much more like George Clooney or Harrison Ford than Stanley Tucci. Only better looking. 🙂

    • It’s the brows, right? I forgot to account for thoughtful brows.

      Ha! This is a hoot. If I were bothering with Eccie, I’d make a thread about this just for the fun of hearing how we all describe each other.

      For the record, the lady only got it correct on two counts – Caucasian and cute. Physically, you scored zero. The rest was so close as to be eerie. (Are you looking in my windows, Chevalier?)

      Small house, only the required furnishings, no decorations save for my massive book collection. When I do talk, I’m quite animated and thoughtless, and often wish I were writing instead because it’s easier to form a logical thought train and not sound stupid. I’m one of those that decries the fact that I cannot have strong coffee mainlined directly into my veins (albeit with hazelnut flavoring and heavy cream).

      At times one cigarette, forgotten, in the ashtray, while you light another.

      True. So true. You wouldn’t believe how hard I laughed when I read this. I think I must be one of the last people under seventy that still do that.

      • my massive book collection

        Just how massive is that? I think my wife and I are somewhere over 1600 at home; when we designed the house, we definitely didn’t provide for enough built-in bookshelves; it’s getting kinda crowded.

        True. So true. You wouldn’t believe how hard I laughed when I read this. I think I must be one of the last people under seventy that still do that.

        I did it myself, before I quit. I had one of those “wrap-around” desks, with connected surfaces in front, to my right, and behind me. And I had three ashtrays, one for each side. Once lit a cigarette only to look around and see that I still had TWO smoldering in different ashtrays. *sigh*

    • It’s been years since I counted. My house has built-ins in the bedroom and living room (all full), I’ve got three large bookcases besides (all full), there’s stacks of overflow in the corner of the living room, dining room and bedroom (waiting on me to buy another bookcase), and the rest are in a storage unit.

      So… a lot. The folks at Half-Price Books know me on sight. Wine and books are my only fun expenditures.

  2. AHA!

    There ARE reviews (as well as a few ads) floating around here and there so I now could produce a better description, including height, hair color, eye color, complexion, approximate cup size, and a GUESS as to weight and age (because P4P clients are really great at estimating those, aren’t they?). 🙂 I still don’t visualize well, though, although I might be able to pick you out of a crowd now.

    I know, I know. It’s cheating. It’s also unfair, since reviews describe the ladies but you have nothing comparable for a description of the clients. But . . . life is unfair, isn’t it?

    And even with those disadvantages, you weren’t TOO far off in your description of me. Got the fifty-ish, white, spare tire, more hair than Stanley Tucci (a fairly safe guess), bookshelves, and glasses right. But that’s also less detail than the type of detailed description that one might expect of a lady in a review.

  3. I am thinking of you like a Julianne Moore type.

    Me: Bruce McGill only grayer hair and not as distinguished looking.


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