LOL suck

45-7.  That’s just shameful.  I feel bad for the poor pig that had to die so that the Cowboys could suck SO BADLY.*  They have no heart, no discipline, and they keep making the same mistakes.  I blame Jerry, who may have enough clams to buy the Cowboys and yet clearly doesn’t know dick about football.

Speaking of football, I read ‘Playing for Pizza’.  It was pretty good, actually.  A little wooden, but the food porn makes up for it.


Movies I Have Seen Lately:

Avatar – It was shiny to look at, and the main character had that scruffy Marlboro good looks neatly combined with the hurt-comfort dynamic which turns women into feather-boa-wearing little freaks.   Otherwise?  Total fail.  Utter fail.  A veritable buffet of fail, bought in big Fail cans on the Fail aisle of Fail-Mart.  The cute cripple?  I watched him for three-ish hours and I can’t recall his name – it mustn’t have been important.  His Hot Native Hottie, I also can’t recall her name.  Grace, though, I remember that name, probably because no one forgets La Weaver.

Plot holes big enough to drive a Mack truck through.  A holding force of Marines get their asses handed to them by a native population, and they subsequently hang their heads and slink back off to where they belong.  Oh, yeah, sure, that’d totally happen.  We surely wouldn’t have nuked them in retaliation within a day.  The Marines taking orders from some field executive for Nameless Huge Big Business – one which invests enormous sums on scientific developments and a specialized team of researchers and then sez, “Fukkit, make with the boom-boom.”  See, I could be convinced these things are plausible IF the writers had taken any effort to explain them.

P.S.  The jumpsuits are a blatant rip-off of Heinlein’s Starship Troopers.  Fail.

And I really hate the white Jesus motif.  Despise it.  The white man is evil and rapacious, a cancer upon the universe because he keeps his soul in his wallet, and his only hope of redemption is to repudiate his way of life and adopt the culture and lifestyle of the noble savage.  The noble savage is a beautiful environmentalist, at one with everything, holding the Sekrit of
Life, Harmony and Truth in his deft, skilled and noble warrior’s hands.  And yet the noble savages, despite being practically perfect in every way, are helpless to save themselves without the help of their white Jesus, who forsakes his evil white man ways and saves everyone by learning everything about being a noble savage in weeks and of course, since he is a white man, being superior at it in all regards.

So, basically, we’re being dismissive and paternalistic towards everyone involved.  How democratic.

Published in: on November 10, 2010 at 1:04 pm  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I thought it was a rip off of dances with wolves and every chick flick I have seen. Guy gets girl through deception, guy loses girl with the truth. Guy gets girl back by becoming a better man and saving the day.

    • I’ve always thought movies like that were the male version of Harlequin romance novels. You know he’s going to get the girl in the end, you’re just going to have to sit through a bunch of his self-inflicted drama first.

      Now, if the locals had whupped some corporate mercenary ass and then sent them packing via a peace treaty overseen by the Milky Way’s UN – that I would have liked to watch. Entertainment should be entertainment. If I want a damned message, I’ll watch Maddow.

      • I do have to say that the 10ft tall blue girl with a tail was doing it for me though, so it did have some entertainment value.LOL

  2. Ya, I was having a hard time with this movie. The 3D in the theater was WAY cool…best 3D I have ever seen. But the story…dances with wolves.

    I like your take on it…the white Jesus. Funny AND true.

    I also disagree with the “noble” savage idea. Given they opportunity most cultures become as greedy and sinful as us white guys…

    • Yep, dances with wolves. Also FernGully. Both movies sucked.

  3. I watched The last Samurai with Tom Cruise the other day and thought of the white Jesus theory.Same basic story.

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