Dear Hobbyists,
WASH YOUR ASS.
Love,
Emily
Oh my sweet Christ. That was truly one for the record books. My flabber is surely f’ing ghasted. Thirty minutes early, shit all over his ass, unresponsive functional bits, stopped to answer his phone – which, I assure you, was a vast relief at that point.
I’ve stripped every linen, I’m tempted to just burn the towel he used for the shower I required him to take, and now I’m sitting here in a state of horrified disbelief.
Christ, I need a drink.
Isle of Hemingway 
I am glad to hear you found a new ATF. LOL
Do you think you will need therapy?
Therapy won’t cut it. I need to bleach my brain.
After reading that I threw up in my mouth a little…
Well look on the bright side,….
…Um, I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Need to be careful. He might have an intestinal infection. You don’t need to be sick before the holidays. Take some Pepto Bismol now.
I have hand sanitizer and used it liberally. I’ll pick up some Pepto on the way home, there’s an nasty flu going around so it’ll get use one way or the other. Thanks, D.
Uh….did you?
Was he a sicko or just so nervous he shit himself?
Ya know what…never mind…let’s all just pretend this did not happen and move along.
I agree. This is definitely one of those don’t-need-to-hear-the-details moments.
I sympathise, I really do. What makes me smile now, but not at the time is when a guy gets off my bed or sofa having enjoyed my ministrations to his nether regions and leaves a large brown skidmark behind as a thank you gift:)